The Secret History by Donna Tartt (1992) 9.3/10. Audiobook narrated by Donna Tartt. Such a surreal murder experience akin to Parasite. The characters are so well-written and distinct in each of their own ways. I love the dark academia vibe.
"but how," said Charles, who was close to tears, "how can you possibly justify cold-blooded murder?" Henry lit a cigarette. "I prefer to think of it," he had said, "as redistribution of matter."
"I like Homer," I said weakly. He regarded me with chill distaste. "I love Homer," he said.
"Death is the mother of beauty," said Henry. "And what is beauty?" "Terror." "Well said," said Julian. "Beauty is rarely soft or consolatory. Quite the contrary. Genuine beauty is always quite alarming."
House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski (2000) 9.2/10.
We Are the Ants by Shaun David Hutchinson (2016) 9.0/10. Narrated by Gibson Frazier. This is such a beautifully written story. This book started as a sci-fi thriller, became a depression survival story, then transitioned into a love triangle romance. Hutchinson's vocabulary and imagery are superb and kept me wanting more.
The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho (1993) 8.8/10.
Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin (2022) 8.4/10. Narrated by Jennifer Kim and Julian Cihi. Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow is a heart-wrenching tale of souls bound by friendship and love throughout trials and tribulations and healing. The main characters are intricately and wonderfully written. When you think it can't get any more tragic, it somehow gets more tragic. I also appreciate its strange metacommentary on video games.
Sam looked at Sadie, and he thought, this is what time travel is. It's looking at a person, and seeing them in the present and the past, concurrently. And that mode of transport only worked with those one had known for a significant time.
"Always remember, mine Sadie: life is very long... unless it is not."
"No," Marx said. "I loved being a student actor. I was fully devoted to it. And now, I'm not. I think if I had become a professional I would likely have fallen out of love with it anyway. It isn't a sadness, but a joy, that we don't do the same things for the length of our lives."
The way to turn an ex-lover into a friend is to never stop loving them, to know that when one phase of a relationship ends it can transform into something else. It is to acknowledge that love is both a constant and a variable at the same time.
The Decagon House Murders by Yukito Ayatsuji (1987) 8.2/10. Narrated by P.J. Ochlan. A thrilling classic mystery told even better than And Then There Were None in my opinion. The murders are not as clever in that respect, but the characters are much more dynamic and lively. I want to say more but I want to avoid spoilers. This is a must-read if you're into mystery fiction.
Stasiland by Anna Funder (2003) 8.0/10. Narrated by Denica Fairman. Funder's narrative is a bit sporadic and hard to follow (I tried reading this book twice in the past and failed) but once you get a grasp on the different characters, the book takes on a new light. Her imagery and vocabulary are truly magnificent. The story of the people who lived in the GDR are so moving I cried. It's truly horrific to see the past being covered up.
"At that time, it was the right decision," she says through tears. "And even later too, I could always say to myself, 'I did not make myself guilty. I can sleep at night with what I have done.'" She doesn't try to cover her face.
"You know though, it was worth it. All the courage I had is in that plate. The whole shitty little skeric of it. That's all I had. That plate," he says, pointing behind him, "stays there."
The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein (2008) 8.0/10. Narrated by Christopher Evan Welch. I love Enzo's commentary on life and the fragility of it. This book kind of makes peace with existential dread and I love that.
"I don't want to be like this," She sobbed. "It's not me. I'm so sorry. I don't want to be mean. It's not who I am." Beware, I thought. The zebra hides everywhere.
On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong (2019) 8.0/10. Ocean Vuong is a phenomenal poet and writer with such a powerfully distinct voice. The words are beautifully written for his mother as a sort of memorial to remember her life and legacy. It starts out a bit slow but gains speed and focuses on generational trauma, racial and sexual discrimintation, and recovery. I recommend this book if you love poetry and love his poems. It crushes me to find out that his mother likely never got to read (or hear) his book before she passed away.
In the nail salon, sorry is a tool one uses to pander until the word itself becomes currency. It no longer merely apologizes, but insists, reminds: I'm here, right here, beneath you. It is the lowering of oneself so that the client feels right, superior, and charitable. In the nail salon, one's definition of sorry is deranged into a new word entirely, one that's charged and reused as both power and defacement at once. Being sorry pays, being sorry even, or especially, when one has no fault, is worth every self-deprecating syllable the mouth allows. Because the mouth must eat.
The city throbbed, shimmered. Then, trying to snap himself out of it, he said, "Fuck Coca-Cola." "Yeah, Sprite for life, fuckers," I added, not knowing then what I know now: that Coca-Cola and Sprite were made by the same damn company. That no matter who you are or what you love or where you stand, it was always Coca-Cola in the end.
Dreamland: The True Tale of America's Opiate Epidemic by Sam Quinones (2015) 8.0/10.
Clean Code: A Handbook of Agile Software Craftsmanship by Robert C. Martin (2009) 8.0/10.
Our American Israel: The Story of an Entangled Alliance by Amy Kaplan (2018) 8.0/10.
The Silmarillion by J. R. R. Tolkien (2001) 7.8/10. If you think the Bible's Old Testament is dense, try reading the Ainulindalë and Valaquenta and memorizing all the characters. This is exactly the kind of lore dump I wanted. It actually makes me appreciate the Lord of the Rings as a franchise much more. I think I also judged the Hobbit and Rings of Power unfairly after this. I also kept notes of the book if you'd like to read a summary of the important points of the book. It's very good at the start and the end but the middle of Quenta Silmarillion gets very dry.
Thus it was in Gondolin; and amid all the bliss of that realm, while its glory lasted, a dark seed of evil was sown.
And thus it came to pass that the Silmarils found their long homes: one in the airs of the heavens, and one in the fires of the heart of the world, and one in the deep waters.
Yet the lies of Melkor, the mighty and accursed, Morgoth Bauglir, the Power of Terror and of Hate, sowed in the hearts of Elves and Men are a seed that does not die and cannot be destroyed; and ever and anon it sprouts anew, and will bear dark fruit even unto the latest days.
Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel (2014) 7.6/10. Narrated by Kirsten Potter. A pretty depressing take on a post-apocalyptic world. It's an engaging read but slow to start. I hate that this book seems to put pedophilic preying men on pedestals, but maybe that's the point.
The Honjin Murders by Seishi Yokomizo (1946) 7.6/10.